These words are trap and you must do Everything in your power to avoid them in Relationship/Marriage.
- NOTHING: When your partner tells you nothing, you have to automatically know there is something especially after you detected something is wrong and they kept saying Nothing trust me, that Nothing is the something… And when you keep pushing to know what the NOTHING is all about, you d find out there is a whole lot of something embedded under NOTHING. So, never you ignore when they say Nothing.
SEE ALSO: Will You Marry Me? Why He Has Not Pop The Question
- SERIOUSLY: Baby I am going out to spend sometime with my friends, seriously?? what then happen to me??
- WHATEVER: Baby what do you want for dinner ?? What ever! Now when your partner tells you what ever, just know you have done something wrong and they are looking for ways to throw forth the Atomic Bomb on you. So when they say what ever, your response will determine the kind of Ammunition they are going to unleashed on you.
- NEVER MIND: Baby should I get you something when coming?? Never mind. Now NEVER MIND mean I shouldn’t have been on your mind and I won’t be. Never mind means, I didn’t ask you to care for me probably because you have done something provocative to them.
- CHILL: Baby who where you talking to on phone?? And you reply Chill. Don’t ever try it. No matter the word you know, don’t ever use the word chill on your Husband or wife. Chill is worst than telling someone they are an Idiot like they can’t comprehend no matter how hard you Explain.
- FINE: When your partner tells you they are fine with a slam you have to know nothing is fine. Especially when they say fine with a moody slam face.
FINE is an acronym for FIGURE IT OUT NOW ELSE
- I’m gonna kill you: This abusive strategy is meant to disarm you and keep you in fear for your life and the life of everyone you hold dear.
You never know when this threat will become real, therefore you are in a state of heighten awareness, similar to PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder)
This is the most dangerous thing a partner can say to you because you do not know if they are seeking attention of if the threat of death is eminent.”
- A real man would be able to fix that: Any time your partner starts with ‘a real man/woman…’ their goal is to get you to behave as they wish by insulting or shaming you. It’s a red flag because they’re attempting to change you into what they want.”
MUST SEE: How To Avoid Fight In Relationship/Marriage
- FUCK YOU: Responses such as this takes disrespect to a new level and is an effort by your partner to silence you or keep you from expressing your thoughts.
They’re essentially saying whatever you think doesn’t matter. Their anger is supposed to intimidate you. It may also be the first step towards potential physical abuse if you continue to disobey their instructions.
- YOU ARE MAKING A BIG DEAL OUT OF NOTHING: This gives the impression that a problem is all yours, rather than one you’re both working on together. A better way to phrase the question would be, ‘Would you please help me understand why this bothers you so much?'”
- HOW COULD YOU BE SO DUMP: “This kind of statement is damaging because it is such a direct assault on your intelligence. Repeated insults can chip away at your self-worth, and it’s also not a constructive or interesting way to talk about differences in opinions or ideas.”
- I AM THE BOSS AROUND HERE: When a partner says or believes they are fundamentally more important than you, you will always struggle with gaining equality in your relationship.*
In their eyes, you are below them, and that is nowhere to be. Relationships must stand on an equal ground.”
- I THINK YOUR BEST FRIEND IS SEXY: Really? “No matter how free and open you think the two of you are, the minute your partner says they are attracted to or would like to sleep with one of your best friends, that spirit of intimacy you share is shattered.
Couples who feel that they are so secure they can tell each other everything and anything because their bond is unbreakable would be wise to keep a few things to themselves.
If you’re sexually attracted to someone who’s closer to your partner and the person happens to be close to Wife/Husband, it’s a bad idea to communicate this lust to your partner don’t do it!
- That is just who I am: This says your partner is not willing to change and they have no desire to change in the future. ‘That’s just who I am’ is both a declaration and a cop-out.
If they love and care about you they’ll be open to changing together. ‘That’s just who I am’ communicates an unwillingness to even consider making a change, and that rigidity could signal problems
- Your mom is the worst: You are allowed to speak unfavorably about your own family just as your partner has that same freedom when it comes to theirs, but neither is allowed to speak negatively about each other’s family.
When your partner violates this rule by criticizing your family, even if you agree with them you feel compelled to defend your family.” Don’t do it!
- You don’t excite me anymore: People know they are not physically perfect but they do want to believe that their partner finds them appealing. If your partner says this, it suggests that their love is superficial. It’s a comment that will not be forgotten.”
- You never listen to me: The fact is that absolutes like ‘always’ and ‘never’ really aren’t true. They can generally be challenged sometimes I listen to you’ and therefore become the focus of a disagreement with the real issue belong lost.”
- Stop being a Bitch: First, it’s an insult and any kind of name calling is a sign of emotional immaturity and the potential for abuse. Second, deliberately insulting your partner shows underlying anger issues.
You deserve to be treated better than this, and you deserve a lover who is able to take ownership of his anger without lashing out against you.
- You are getting really fat: A partner who criticizes you in your most vulnerable areas is a sign that he or she is uncaring and hurtful. Since the beginning of time, women have been told they are not good enough, young enough, smart enough, or this or that.
To be with someone who is this superficial and hurtful is a huge sign that you are far away from experiencing authentic true love.
READ ALSO: Will You Marry Me? Why He Has Not Pop The Question
- You are nothing like my Ex: Your partner should never bring up their ex in comparison to you, good or bad. The point is that relationship didn’t work and is no longer around.
This is not only hurtful and discouraging, but it indicates that your partner still thinks about previous relationships.
- It’s all your fault: Blame drives disconnection. Blame allows a spouse to put responsibility on their mate other than himself/herself. Blaming your spouse allows you to stay in your comfort zone and not change. Both partners need to look at their own faults, figure out how blame is corrupting their connection, and take responsibility for their part in the relationship.”
- You are such an Idiot: You married your spouse because there were dozens of things you loved about their looks, personality, and character. Do not make the fight a dirty one by criticizing their character.
Telling them all the things you dislike about them will not only crush their spirit but break trust and connection. We know that we’re all different, have our own opinions and everyone is never going to agree on everything.
Does fighting in a relationship has any benefit?
Having said that, the bottom line is as it always has been. If you can’t say something nice, then keep your mouth shut!”
Most couples fight are over little things, but these kinds of squabbles often mask bigger problems.
You know that feeling when you can sense a fight coming on with your partner? You get that knot in your stomach, your blood starts to boil, and your mind races. It’s okay to embrace the battle as long as you know what you’re really fighting about.
Fighting is so good because your relationship is about growing and becoming the very best person you can become.
Fights are one of your best tools for learning,
They’re letting you know what you care about, what you really desire, what you really yearn for deep inside. They’re teaching you so much. The point above gives a clear direction of things not to say to your partner in the midst of fighting
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I’ve really learnt a lot from this article. It is Very educative. Thanks Mr Merry.
Beautiful write up. Educative
Food for thought,thanks sir.