How To Prepare For Marriage (Must Read For Men & Women In Relationship)
The Marriage you don’t prepare for will confuse you when you get there.
Nobody asks if you are prepared for marriage rather they ask you when is your wedding. You never still marry?? What are you waiting for??
People take time to prepare for wedding but they never take their time to prepare for marriage. Some people spend 7 years in the university studying all manner of theories and when it comes to marriage we feel we do not need to prepare.
What is needed to prepare for marriage?
- It is not money that makes you prepare for marriage. If it where, celebrities and top Billionaires won’t be divorcing their wife.
- You need more than just money to be ready for marriage.
- You don’t prepare in marriage you prepare for marriage.
- It is your Preparation that determines your Experience.
- You don’t learn how to shoot gun in the battle field you learn it before the battle begins.
As you make your bed so you lie on it.
Proverb 15 : 1: A soft answer turns away Anger. But a harsh words incurs anger.
Now it’s either a soft word or a Harsh word, which one comes to you more easily??
Some people thinks you only speak nice words to your partner shows you are weak….NO
Some people tell you they speak the truth. Well the Bible says speak the truth in love.
So if you are someone that brags that you speak the truth and the truth that you speak incurs your partner’s anger, then something is wrong with you.
When you are listening to your partner in a conversation, don’t be out to point out what is wrong or their fault.
If you are married and your wife just came back from work and she is trying to tell you what happened between her and her colleagues in the office today, don’t try to cut her in the middle of her story….NONONO
Candidly don’t try to cut her short of her story by saying you shouldn’t have behave like that with your colleagues.
If you do that as a man, the fight will move from the office into your bedroom straight. She is not telling you the story as the Judge of the supreme Court of your House. She is trying to vent. She needs relief. And if she says it, she will feel relief.
So, if you are a smart man, who ever she says is the problem, you will side with her to finished the person.
But siding with the person she says is the problem is bringing war to your home.
- Women are Emotional being.
- Men are Logical Being.
When your wife is talking to you, you are not listening to understand what she is saying, but you are thinking of what to say when she finished talking and that creates frustration because that thing you are going to say does not align with what she was saying.
Basic things that frustrate Communication between couples.
- Your temperament can influence your marriage.
- Communication has different part. In school we were taught:
But we where never taught “Listening”. Which is a very critical skill in marriage.
If you must get married, you must learn how to listen henceforth and how you respond to your Husband/Wife should depends on their Temperament.
- If your Spouse is an Extrovert (Sanguine), you need to respond to them with an Excitement. Because most Extrovert are usually very excited.
- Responding to them in an act of coldness usually pissed the off.
- If your partner is a Melancholic, just remember they don’t thrive on trivial things. They like to discuss serious issues, creative ideas, the next project, Innovations the happenings in the world. They are not interested on how you bought pepper or Maggie and the woman called you big head NO they won’t take you serious.
- If it’s a phlegmatic, have it in mind they don’t like stress… So once your discussion is becoming stressful to them they sleep off.
If your discussion is lengthy always make it brief and go straight to the point.
Skip the greetings and all the familiarity. Most times I get annoyed when someone sends me a DM asking if I have eating. Are you making an order if I said I haven’t…. Please don’t stress my life!
- For the Choleric, they like loyalty. A Choleric don’t like people to disagree with them they like people to agree with them.
So, if you and your Husband is always fighting over a decision watch it!
So, if you want to Enjoy your conversation with a Choleric person agree first with what he/she says first.
To love is to Have the interest of your partner at heart. Because love is sacrificial ok. Love covereth multitude of sins.
If you are too serious and too conscious of other people mistakes, you CAN never enjoy your home. Sometimes giving in to your partner decision is winning.
If you are somebody that want his or her word to stand above all others you are surely going to be having a fight everyday in your home.
You both are going to Abuja from Lagos and you said let’s take a flight… Your Wife said NO let take a Bus. Either you take a flight or Bus you will still get to Abuja.
Always learn to identify a heated argument before it arrives.
DON’T ALWAYS BE THE WINNING PARTY SOMETIMES, INTENTIONALLY MAKE YOUR PARTNER WIN THE ARGUMENT.
The reason why some of you are still single is not because you are not faithful. You are faithful but stubborn. In our house we don’t take nonsense. That is your house. You must learn to swallow some nonsense if you want peace.
The white man call it overlooking things. Let some things slide away as they come. But NO not you… That spirit of bus conductors will not let you calm down.
LADIES GO FOR A MAN THAT HAS WISDOM…NOT A MAN THAT LIVES BY WHAT HIS PARENT TELLS HIM.
THINGS TO LOOK FOR IN A MAN
- Marry a man that believe in his Religion and that fears God (Muslim or Christian).
- When I mean believe in his Religion I mean a man that practices his Religion/doctrines.
- Marry a man that is already working. He is a nice man just that he is still believing God for a job. HE IS NOT NICE UNTIL HE HAS A JOB. HE IS NICE NOW BECAUSE HE DOESN’T HAVE A JOB!
- Marry a man that see your value and need your intellectual input in his life.
- Marry a man that is not living in his father/Parent house.
- Marry a man that can represent you and your family in the crowd.
- Marry a man that can defend and not abuse you.
THINGS TO LOOK FOR IN AN IDEAL WOMAN
- Marry a Woman that Stay in God presence. Listen I didn’t say marry a woman who is a Christian or Muslim or Hindus irrespective of your religion NO. Marry a woman that enjoys God Presence. To Enjoy or stay in God presence is different from being a Christian or Muslim.
- Marry a woman who can Help you Multiply your Resource. She said Honey let go out to eat chicken and chips. After they brought the bill is #20,000 and she said My Husband will pay. And then she is picking her tooth telling you the chicken is not well cook self.
- Marry a woman that has the knowledge of Marriage. Not all women are Good for Marriage and I like to leave it that! Some women CAN NEVER GET MARRIED IN THIS LIFE BECAUSE OF THEIR PARENTAL UP BRINGING
- Marry a woman that respect her parent.
- Marry a woman who knows the value of knowledge.
- Marry a woman who has something doing. (I didn’t say She MUST be Educated)
But what am saying is she must have something she is doing.
It is better to be single believing God to be married than to be married believing God to be single.
Most Couples pray their partner should die so they can be free. Look there are so many things you can do as a single that you can’t afford to do as a married person NEVER!
AS A SINGLE MAN YOUR SALARY YOURS ANSWER YOURS ALONE. BUT WHEN YOU ARE MARRIED YOUR SALARY BECOMES OUR SALARY.
Some of you claim you are a private person. You can not be private when you are married Because your spouse has now been licensed to put mouth or pry into your affairs…
So, enjoy your Singlehood now while you prepare for marriage. Marriage is not all about finding the right partner. Some of you have a long list of what you want.
Tall rich and handsome. Holy Ghost filled, Naira and pounds loaded Speaking in tongues and fire branding. But that is not all there is in marriage.
Every fulfilling and happy marriage is a product of adequate preparation
Don’t forget I said you don’t prepare in marriage, you prepare for marriage. And your preparation should start now!!!!
Some of you want to wait to get to get married first before become faithful to one partner.
The best time to be faithful is now that you are in Relationship.
She said I am dating four boys in case one break my heart.
Well same way when you get married, you will be going out with three men in case your Husband break your heart.
Luke 14:28-30: “Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it? For if you lay the foundation and are not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule you, saying, ‘This person began to build and wasn’t able to finish.”
What causes divorce in Marriage?
One of the major causes of divorce is lack of preparation. Divorce, defined in simple terms is two people starting a race and are unable to finish it. If there is anything we need to prepare for in life, marriage is one of it.
The media paints a lot of funny pictures of what marriage is, they paint all sort of sweet stories. Not to say these stories are wrong but they are incomplete, they don’t give the full picture of what marriage is. Marriage is demanding, it will require you to step out of your comfort zone. You have to let go of some mind sets and habits. Marriage will challenge your old ways of thinking.
Every marriage has challenges, don’t expect your marriage to work. What you accept in your mind is what you expect and that is why it is very important you have the right mind set and perspective towards marriage.
Genesis 2:24: “Therefore a man leaves his father and mother and embraces his wife. They become one flesh.”
Ways to Prepare for Marriage Whether or Not You’re Dating
- Surround yourself with those whom you to aspire to be.
- Follow through with commitments
- Don’t demand change from others before you change yourself.
- Prepare Financially: The responsibility of provision shouldn’t lie solely on the man. It should be mutual. God intended marriage to be a partnership and that includes finances too. Marriage is not using someone as a cheap way to get out of poverty, so whether you are a man or a woman, prepare financially before you get married..
- Improve the quality of your spirituality: A lot of people go to church, that doesn’t mean they are spiritual. Spirituality is measured by how much of the Holy Spirit, you allow find expression through you. As a woman don’t compromise your godly and holy standards because of anyone. Improve yourself spiritually. Let your character reflect your Christian virtues. Pray, fast, study the word.
- Don’t act desperate: How you behave when the person shows up is so important. Be nice but don’t be cheap. Some women have a problem.in drawing the line. Men are uncomfortable with being chased. As a woman when you start showering him with gift and attention, you call him all the time, you send him text messages all the time, he becomes uncomfortable. Men are not used to too much attention. Do go overboard. Be nice but don’t be cheap.
- Emotional maturity: Emotional maturity is a life skill everyone needs. The ability to detach from your parents is important. Detaching doesn’t mean neglecting your parents. It means the ability to make decisions independent of their influence. Decisions that when you make, they can respect it even if they do not agree. If you are still overly attached to your parents, please do not get married.
Genesis 2:24: “Therefore a man leaves his father and mother and embraces his wife. They become one flesh.”*
Emotional maturity is so key in preparing for marriage. You cannot afford to be a baby. Some people are trying to build their marriage/life on the wrong things.
You need to have a Masters degree”
- Why?? Does a Masters degree guarantee a good marriage?
- You need to always appear corporate; wear a tie and a suit, people that wear jeans look somehow”
- Why?? Does appearing corporate means he is unserious?
- “You need to be a banker”
- Why? Does being a banker guarantee success and financial security in marriage?*
- “You must wake up 5am everyday, if you don’t then it means you are not serious” Why? Who said 5am is THE time serious people wake up?
Don’t attach too much importance to things that are trivial. Concentrate on the basics.-The belief system, value system and more. Yes you should aim to make your partner better and improve in certain areas but some things are just trivial, let it go. Let your spouse be an individual, don’t try to make them be like you. Let him/her be. Also, don’t try to change your partner, it is only God that can change a person.
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